Blog: Alone Time

Nov. 7, 2018

From Lisa

Alone Time used to be the scariest thing I could imagine.  I would do almost ANYTHING in my power not to be alone.  I would cram activities and people into my life until the seams were bursting.  Responsibilities, social activities, work, children, friends, community, church, animals, family, chores… you name it I crammed it.  From the break of day until my head hit the pillow at night I was constantly on the go.  Why was I so against this time alone?  Because that meant I was alone with my thoughts.  Thoughts of inadequacy, disappointment, resentment, regret, loss. Heavy, heavy thoughts that hurt or scared me. 

So this year, I began weekly counseling and one of the things we worked on was my ability to be alone.  At first I tried it for an hour.  I sat on my couch and wrote a letter, read my bible, and looked through old pictures.  As soon as the hour was up, I took off to do something with my friends.  Soon I worked up to 4 hours of alone time, taking time to work on projects, write short stories, send letters to my family.  I started to feel less anxious, less sad.  I started to feel upbeat and like being by myself was actually something to look forward to. 

Now, I love to have Alone Time.  I try to carve it out in every day.  Time to walk and listen to the birds; feel my feelings, think my thoughts, process my life.  Alone Time has become crucial to my well-being.  It is time to decompress, sometimes laugh; sometimes cry; sometimes just be.  I have learned to be ok with myself, even when things are not ok.  I have learned to listen to myself.  I have learned to love myself for exactly who I am.  Maybe some Alone Time could help you too!

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